Ch ch ch changes…

eleanor_sqIt has to be a good blog post starting out with a picture that cute, right?  Really, that’s just a gratuitous picture of Ellie, complete with food on her face and all and it has nothing to do with my post content.

Anyway, we moved.  Like 6 months ago.  To the ‘burbs.  And I’m just not writing about it.  I may have mentioned it previously but honestly I’m too lazy to reread the text of the 3 posts that I’ve written in the last 6 months so I’m going to talk about it.

Moving was not something we expected to happen at the time it did, and it was certainly not something I was ready for, especially out of the city and into the suburbs.  About 6 months before we moved, Brandon started getting a little restless with work, and decided to explore his options professionally.  He also saw the writing on the wall that it may not be possible for us to remain in the city if he was going to contemplate a large career leap, and thinking long-term, our 1 bedroom, 525 sq. ft apartment wasn’t going to hold 2 adults, 2 overly active cats and 1 growing toddler comfortably much longer, especially with the possibility of him working from home.  So, Brandon started looking for a new place to live all over the Bay Area.  He would show me places, and no matter where they were, I poo-pooed them.  Too small.  Too dark.  Not close enough to a park.  Not close enough to a downtown.  Too ugly.  Carpet.  First floor.  Just…no.  Bless his heart, he kept trying, but I just wasn’t ready to move! We even thought about other places in SF, but have you seen those prices lately?  Yeah.  No thanks. We were trying to get MORE space and less rent, not less space and more rent.

Around January, we had a chat where we sort of made “the scary leap decision” which basically was this: Brandon was going to put in a proposal for a job, and if he got it, he was quitting.  This, in turn, meant we would need to move.  I put on my big girl pants (reluctantly…dragging my feet the whole time) and on board-ish with the house/apartment-hunting, which really just meant I didn’t veto EVERY place he showed me, and in fact I took the initiative to look on my own occasionally as well.  I still had a totally negative ‘tude–I was feeling kicked out of SF, out of the apartment I loved, out of the lifestyle I loved.  In reality, I wasn’t being forced out–I was making an adult decision based on what was best for my family, I just didn’t want to handle it in an adult way.  I also sort of had it in my head that, while I have much faith and confidence in Brandon’s abilities, no way was he going to land the first job he put in a proposal for.  That just doesn’t happen!

As you can probably guess at this point, he did indeed get the job.  I had a major “oh $h!t” moment, where I was thrilled and excited and proud…and terrified and sad and filled with anxiety.  This all was really happening! The search for a place to live went into overdrive, 2 weeks later we had a lease and 2 weeks after that we were all packed up and moved out of our beloved apartment.  It happened in the blink of an eye–I didn’t even get to fulfill a bucket list of things to do! No last date nights…nothing.  Just like that, we were gone.  My drive out of the city was extremely tear-full, as I said goodbye to the place that I loved–it was our apartment that we moved into when we got married, the place we brought Eleanor home to from the hospital…it is filled with so many memories and so much love, I just wanted to keep it forever (even though we didn’t own it).

And that brings us back to here and now.  Do I miss San Francisco? Terribly, with all my heart.  I even miss my tiny apartment.  I miss so many things about living in the city, but when I get down about it I remind myself how much I get to see Brandon now, and how much he gets to see Ellie.  He works from home,  so we take turns with E and do a lot more as a family.  Whereas in SF he was frequently gone 10-12 hours a day, now he’s around most of the time and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, and I especially wouldn’t take that away from him.  He is so much happier and less stressed now, and that is worth the world.  Also, we have a backyard now.  I have a garden.  We have a stoop.  We live in an adorable early 1900’s house.  We have an awesome office space in the house.  We’re near the water.  I GET SUMMER WEATHER (this has probably been the single fact that helped me most).  We live near my family, including my grandmothers.  When we walk down my grandma’s street, Ellie gets so excited squealing “Gigi! Gigi!” and it’s in those moments, too, that I know we made the right decision.

But I still miss San Francisco (and yes, I still live close to it, but visiting is never the same as living there)…

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