well, on facebook there has been a “25 things you may not know about me” thing going around…after i posted mine, i thought of a few more facts that are (perhaps) more interesting, so i decided to share those here.
1. i am incredibly empathetic–not necessarily sympathetic, but moreso empathetic.
2. frequently little things make my heart break when i’m out and about–things that other people wouldn’t find sad. well, not really sad, but touching i guess. examples of things that have made me feel on the verge of tears:
*seeing an elderly person on the bus doing the same motion that i can only assume they’ve been doing exactly the same way for decades (i.e. the way they take out and apply their chapstick, the way they put their gloves in their bag, etc.)
*in that vein, sometimes seeing an elderly person alone on the bus looking lonely
*i saw a homeless person coloring in an elmo page from a coloring book with a ballpoint pen and almost cried. most people would giggle. i felt so sad/touched inside
*a 20-something guy was on the bus, his hair all done, his outfit business-casual, on the side of slightly nerdy. he was obviously going somewhere and had put effort into his appearance. it touched me and i almost cried.
when i see these things it’s not pity that overwhelms me–i feel like i get a glimpse into a moment in these people’s lives, and i’m touched in some way. i feel like it’s an intimate moment and for some reason i ache inside. weird? i don’t know
3. i can pinpoint the exact moment when i started crying in movies. i used to only cry in particular movies, and my tears were very limited. freshman year in college, however, i went to see “pay it forward” with a group of friends, and i just started sobbing in the movie. i was with a group of guys and girls, and i was SO embarrassed and mad at myself for crying and kept saying “i NEVER cry in movies! i never cry! what’s wrong with me?” since then i think it has been a downward spiral–i cry more and more easily as time goes on
4. i love going to concerts but always end up complaining about tall people always finding their way in front of me, and my vertical space being zapped up (inevitably at some point i lean over to say something to a friend–feet remaining in place–and when i upright myself i find that somehow someone has leaned into my space so i can no longer stand upright)
5. i frequently have professional jealousy for those in creative fields who have more talent/experience/knowledge than me. right now my current wish is that i knew more about photography and the mechanics of the camera. with that said, i am motivated and learning and willing to take on new endeavors
6. i mentioned on facebook my morbid mind, so i’ll expand on that, or at least give some examples. i have sort of a more-or-less constant stream of “what ifs” going through my head. they don’t paralyze me, but they’re there. some examples:
*standing on a train platform, i have thoughts of “what if there was an earthquake and i fell on the tracks” or “what if someone walked by and just shoved moe onto the track” or “what if i walked by someone and just shoved them onto the track?”
*i was on a job site the other day, on the 4th floor of a building in an area where the floors had been taken out. there was plywood, but i was standing near the edge on a beam. i moved because i thought “what if there was an earthquake right now?”
*sometimes when i’m out and about i think “what if that building just exploded right now?” or “what if i saw someone get shot?”
things like that…this ongoing game of what if.
7. i don’t like football. it runs in the family. my mom hates football, my sister hates football. i allow oregon ducks games without question, but other football games must be negotiated (luckily brandon doesn’t like nfl). the sound of unwelcome sports events on the tv stress me out and make me anxious.
8. i don’t do well when i think animals are in distress. i can’t stand giving my cats pills, i was a wreck when they had to get fixed, and i was miserable when they were upset in the car. it breaks my heart and i’m total putty. i can’t handle the sarah mclachlan aspca commercials (i have to turn them). even the noah wylie polar bear commercial kills me. brandon reminds me that they’re cats, they’re okay. i think it comes from the fact that animals are sort of helpless, and at our mercy for their care
well, i guess that’s all for now. i have a cat chewing, picture hitting, glass clinking cat who is in desperate need of some activity/attenion….